Above is a picture of 8 year old Char looking up toward her Mama as she coached her through singing “Jesus Loves Me”. Why was this happening? Because the gathered family wanted to hear it, and my Mother knew I could do it. I literally said “I don’t want to!” And, in all of her black mother of the 90s goodness and grace, she replied “ Yes you do, go on!”
I feel that I am in this same position today. I’m being called to provide things that people need or want to hear. It’s a sharing of a gift that was given to me with the full expectation that I would freely give it away. Even when I fear that I can’t do it, I feel her knowingly and lovingly saying that I can. At 31, I’m still looking up, but my gaze is a bit higher.
Two years ago today, my mother transitioned from this earth to her heavenly home. And when she did, I honestly felt robbed, forgotten, and hopeless. I knew she wouldn’t see me graduate from residency, get married, or have children. Making it through the day was a struggle. I couldn’t imagine making it two years. But that’s the beauty of God’s love, his ability to comfort, restore, rebuild, and reignite.
So today, know that the light that you may see shining on this page is actually a fire. It’s a fire that almost blew out completely, but now burns with a renewed fury. That fury was initially born of pain, but is now fueled by a sense of overwhelming purpose, an urgency for obedience, and the matchless provision of daily oil from the divine.
